As our seniors begin writing essays for college and scholarship applications, they are often asked to reflect on a significant time in their lives. *Kevin gave Epworth permission to share portions of his essay and his story. He will turn 18 over the summer. He and his three sisters arrived at Epworth in 2008. Kevin wrote about the moment his mother told him they would be living apart for a while. In his words:

“The reason we came to Epworth was because my mother wasn’t financially secure and we constantly moved and missed school. One day we stopped moving from house to house and began moving from hotels to motels. My mother sat me down one day and told me that we were going to live without her for awhile until she got back on her feet. My mother didn’t tell me she was taking us to a group home though.”

Kevin and his sisters arrived at Epworth when Kevin was 13 years of age. He was joined by one of his older sisters who was 15 at the time and his two younger sisters ages 12 and 7. In all, there are 13 siblings in Kevin’s family. Kevin and the sisters who came to Epworth with him were the only ones living in SC with their mother at the time. They had moved down from the north a year earlier. Kevin wasn’t attending school regularly, nor was he eating on a consistent basis. He remembers not caring about his grades or his behavior, because he had learned that he would move again before he stayed in one place long enough for his grades and misbehavior to follow him. He didn’t have to build relationships with anyone and that meant he didn’t have to respect anyone’s expectations. The day he moved to Epworth he expected that pattern would continue, and he would be back with his mother soon. It didn’t take long for Kevin to realize his move to Epworth would be different.

“I was scared, worried, frustrated and confused about why my mother was leaving us. She really didn’t tell us her exact reason. My perspective changed that day. My first night, I didn’t sleep because I thought about my future and what I could do to help my mother. I had two choices – I could stay and try to better myself or run away that night and find my mother.”

As Kevin shared his story with Mrs. Mitzie Schafer, Director of Development for Epworth, she asked him why he stayed. “My staff saw me staring at the door that night,” Kevin answered.  “He asked me if I was thinking about running. I didn’t say anything, I just kept staring. He told me I had two choices. I could either, stay and handle the situation like a man, or I could leave and let my mother worry about me ending up behind bars because I spent my life angry and foolish.”

Mrs. Schafer asked Kevin, “What did you decide?”

“I decided to stay,” he replied. “I thought about my father and how he never did anything for me. How he left us and spent time in prison; he lives in a van now. I thought about my mother and how she grew up in foster care too. I thought about how she couldn’t support us. I decided I wasn’t going to be like that. As I talked to my staff I realized that I wanted more, and staying here would help me do that. I could be different. I am different.”

Kevin is indeed different. Kevin maintains high grades. He is a leader for his cottage mates. He has held a part-time job for more than one year in the same place. He considers himself an athlete. He plans to attend Spartanburg Methodist College for two years and then transfer to USC where he will pursue a degree in Athletic Training. Why is Kevin so different?

“At Epworth I was told repeatedly that studying will make me successful. I was given just the right amount of freedom. I had examples of successful men like Mr. Carter who talked to me about graduating from Claflin University. They taught me it is okay to mess up, but to apologize. I learned to think things through.”

Last year, Kevin’s mom returned north to live. She wanted Kevin and his sisters to return with her. Kevin was devastated. He loves his mother, but he knew that returning to live with her would mean a return to his former life. It would mean a limit to his future. Kevin asked his mother to give him permission to remain at Epworth. She agreed.

Epworth Children’s Home works to break the cycle of abuse, neglect and shame. Kevin is a clear example of the transforming power of nurturing care and quality life skills lessons children receive at Epworth. The staff and volunteers at Epworth are very proud of Kevin and his transformation, and will continue to be with him every step of the way.